I'm an emotional person. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I can overreact. I can take things personally that don't need to be taken personally.
Because I'm so emotional, I am susceptible to making permanent decisions based on temporary emotions. I can run my mouth. I want to be opinionated. I want to be outspoken. I enjoy the attention of discussing controversial topics, except what comes out of my mouth is the same propaganda I read and see online and on TV. I can run my mouth as if I'm speaking factually about any given topic I'm passionate about, but if I'm challenged in my thinking, I shut down.
Because I like to share my thoughts and enjoy debate, I like to post my opinions on social media, only later it can end up biting me in the ass because I end up putting my foot in my mouth. A lot. I've had more "Why did I say that?" moments than I care to count.
I started this blog as a venue to express myself freely, because I'm starting to limit myself on Facebook. I have a Twitter account, but I really don't tweet. I pretty much just keep up with the news and current events on Twitter, though you can do that with Facebook too.
Lately, more and more stories have been surfacing online where someone makes a sarcastic comment, the comment goes viral, and then they're whisked away by the authorities because someone took what they said seriously and reported it...the whole "You shouldn't even joke about that" idea.
Despite wanting to maintain a blog (on which I now rarely post) to vent and let loose, I'm seeing more and more that sometimes silence is safer and speaking out. Social media is LOUD with opinion and commentary. If I speak out about anything I'm passionate about, I'm just joining the BILLIONS of other voices that are doing the same thing. Everyone wants to be heard, and I think people feel validated when they have an audience to read their thoughts. Some may take pride in being uncensored in their postings.
Even I, at various points, have started blog posts, and left them in draft mode, not bothering to post them. Because when I post them, I share the link to the post on Facebook. And from there, I watch to see how many LIKES or comments I receive about the post. It gives me a false sense of being a writer with thoughts others love to read about. When in reality, I have a medium to share thoughts, but when it comes time to click that button, I refrain, because I've become increasingly timid about sharing my thoughts with the world.
I think the one place where one's voice needs to be heard the most is in politics. And when it comes to that, it's easy to get an emotional response from anyone...especially social issues. And most of the time, the most emotional social issues are marriage equality and women's heath. I've heard the saying that "The only thing worse than an evil man is a good man who does nothing." And so many choose to do nothing because they may feel jaded that nothing they can do can fix anything for the better. They may figure it's a waste of their time.
And then you have those who refuse to stay silent about anything. Because they're so emotionally passionate about certain issues, that passion motivates them to take it to the streets, get the community involved, and start a movement to help make a change for a cause they believe in.
And then you have rare instances like in the case of Edward Snowden who leaked a bunch of information about the NSA's practices. He saw something that violated his conscience, brought it to national attention, and is now a federal fugitive.
See, I greatly admire people like stand-up comics who "tell it like it is" or "say what the rest of us are thinking". They get applause, some criticism, but they're hailed as heroes to those who really agree with their observations. I find myself wanting that support sometimes. I find myself wanting to tell it like it is, except they have one skill I lack: wit. If they're challenged by anyone, they can fire back; I can't. I don't know how. But also, if someone doesn't like what they have to say, all that happens is they don't buy tickets to their shows. The comic doesn't get arrested or end up on tabloids for what they said. Rather, they may just end up having their comments going viral on social media, burning it up in the blogosphere, where everyone and their cat puts in their 2¢ about what they said.
All that being said, I have (I think) many sides to my personality. My husband has seen them all and chooses to stay with me. I have moments where I'm vulgar and others when I'm prudent. I have moments when I'm very "toned down" and others where I get so flamboyant, those around me might look around for a fire extinguisher in case the need should arise. Basically, whichever side shows itself depends on my mood and my social environment.
I do my best to be myself, and regardless of what comes out of my mouth, or to whom it's directed, one thing remains the same: I don't want to offend anybody. If I've done that, then I've made a mistake, which is hurting or disrespecting someone. And if I do hurt someone, my emotional response is dwelling on that mistake. And many times, that dwelling can last for days. I end up feeling horrible about myself, even wanting to rectify the relationship back to the level it once was...if that's even possible.
I do test boundaries to see how much of "me" I can get away with. With which side(s) of me is this person comfortable?
I see plenty of people who share and share and share. They insist they don't give a shit about what others think.
But I do.
And that might be my problem. Does one have to care about what others think? It depends.
There's the adage: Better to remain silent and have others think you're an idiot than open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Yeah, I don't want to be that person. But then again, what's good about speaking up? What's good about staying silent and keeping your opinions to yourself?
What's good about sharing your thoughts? The good I find there is when someone shares a thought they're shy about sharing, and several people express relief, thanking that person for sharing because now they feel less alone.
I think it's okay to share one's thinking. But it's also important to filter what or how you say it. Will it piss off someone? Okay, it will. Fine. Are you okay with that? No? Then STFU.
Maybe you're like president Donald Trump whose words always gets mixed reactions: anger from his critics, cheers and praise from his supporters.
Some would argue it's best to play it safe and not overshare, or only share your thoughts if they won't put you in jeopardy in some way. But what about those people out there who feel so alone and feel less alone when someone else thinks like them?
I think anyone would say, "It depends on what they're thinking."
And that's absolutely true. Otherwise with much of what Trump has said, we probably wouldn't have a reinvigorated rise in neo-Nazis coming out of the woodwork.
When all is said and done about "free" speech, one must look to the 1st Amendment of the US Constitution:
"Congress shall make no law abridging the freedom of speech."
Your free speech is violated if you're arrested, that is, if the government comes after you.
Your free speech is NOT violated if you share on social media and you receive a backlash. That's simply a consequence of you sharing what's probably a stupid, ignorant thought.
Interesting, huh? We live in a country that prides itself on freedom of speech. But how to imperfect people manage imperfect people?
Good luck with that. Whatever you say, try to be smart about it. Otherwise, you will remove all doubt.
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