We live in America where enshrined in our 2 founding documents (Declaration of Independence and Constitution) are the affirmations that all men are created equal and endowed with inalienable rights, among them being life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. The 14th amendment to the US Constitution guarantees equal protection under the law. Our Pledge of Allegiance mentions that we live in a country, united, under God, with liberty and justice for all.
All that being said, why do so many people immigrate to the US? Because here, the people, NOT the government, rule. We're the Land of the Free, the Home of the Brave, as stated in our National Anthem, and yet not everyone is treated as equals. We have an upper, middle, and lower class that is distinguished primarily by income. Even individual cities differ in appearance depending on where you live in that city.
Since we live in a democratic country, we vote on what laws we want passed and enforced. Many of the past votes have been votes for civil rights. Women and African-Americans were only allowed to vote relatively recently. At one point, interracial marriages were banned. So many minorities have fought for their rights in this country. If we truly live up to the statements in our Anthem, our Constitution, and the Declaration, America would indeed be the best country in the world. But if you want to make it the best country, you need to vote for the laws to make that happen. We live in the 21st century now, and we still manage to maintain our petty differences between each other. It's these stupid differences and our prejudices against them that hold our country back from fully embracing itself as the country our founding documents declare it to be. So how do we move our country forward?
Most of the time, in the case of the gay community, we're faced with such tremendous adversity because of the irrational fears prejudiced straight people have about our community. Those citizens who've never met any gay person will likely adopt the notion that we're out to "recruit" others to be gay, that we're taking over the world, that we're corrupting the innocent, and other such nonsense. Because they have these pre-disposed fears (which the media can sometimes foster, as well as evangelical preachers who may not personally know any gay people), those ignorant to the real plight of gay people want to "protect" themselves by supporting laws that enforce discrimination against us. They also justify their hatred and prejudice with Biblical texts, anything to make them feel like they're in the right, and we're in the wrong. And it's easy to do all that, especially when the gays are far away from you. You don't know any personally, so you can judge and hate all you want guilt-free...
...unless...
...you meet one of us. All these fears, prejudices, and anti-gay sentiments that can ultimately manifest themselves in gross acts of hate could eventually dissipate once a homophobic person meets a homosexual person. Then 3 things can happen:
1. Gay people are no longer far away from you on a trashy daytime TV talk show, they're someone you know personally.
2. You get to know them and realize they're not so bad, in fact, they're same person they always have been.
3. This revelation can change your thinking because you learn they're not scary, but they're normal, everyday people who want and need all the same things you do.
Once you've met one, ask yourself, "Do I really want this person to be bashed, called names, and treated unfairly?" The answer is probably "No". And yet, we're bashed, called names, and treated unfairly every. single. day.
Coming out (revealing to yourself and/or others that you're gay) is a process that varies with each person who needs to do so. For some, it's incredibly easy. For others, it can be a lifelong challenge. For me, once I knew for sure, I came out and liberated myself from what could've been a lifetime of lies. I even remember the exact date I came out: March 12, 2001. This one action on any gay person's part can change their lives and those of others for the better. It's an extremely powerful moment. It liberates you, it unburdens you, and it follows through with what we teach our children everywhere: Be yourself.
If every gay person who was still closeted came out, more bigoted, ignorant, intolerant, and closed-minded people would be less afraid of what really is not the threat they believe it to be. They'd realize that the sky won't fall down, the world won't end, no marriages will be jeopardized (unless that marriage consists of a closeted gay person). And speaking of that, the danger of staying in the closet is that those who enter into heterosexual marriages in hopes of changing their orientation will ultimately do more harm than good to all parties involved in the long run. But they enter into these marriage masquerades because they fear what their family or friends may do if they come out. If the closeted homosexual was to come out BEFORE getting married, then the marriage wouldn't have to end in divorce, simultaneously adding to the current divorce rate. Especially in the marriage that has children between the couple, what kind of message does the parent send to the child when they reveal the truth about themselves after spending years living a lie? The child watches their parent suffer from a marriage that doesn't bring out the best in everyone, but instead weighs down heavily on the personal misery the closeted person carries.
It's simple hatred, ignorance, intolerance, bigotry, prejudice, and active anti-gay discrimination that scares gay people away from coming out and truly being and loving themselves as God made them. Instead, you get a mass-communicated message from people in power attempting to demonize us into subhuman beings...people who have no feelings, no emotions, no heart, no morals, no talents, no thoughts, no voice, NOTHING that affirms our God-given humanity! When we're depicted this way, it's no wonder that ignorant homophobes have no problem bashing or killing gay people; they've become desensitized from acknowledging our common humanity!
I remember once being in graduate school and seeing an event invitation about blue caps. The idea was that if you were or knew someone who was gay, wear a blue cap all day. The purpose of this action was to provide visual proof of how close we all are to gay people. And if we know that many, why are we denying them their rights and privileges? Why are we mistreating them?
I've been asked a few times about why gay people have gay pride parades. "What's the point?" people ask me. "Straight people don't have straight pride parades, so why do you have gay pride parades?" Good question with a simple answer. Gay people are underdogs. We face injustice, prejudice, discrimination, hate-based violence, ignorance, and so many other evils, and none of it by choice. We're beaten down, bashed, even killed for being who we are. These parades are statements on behalf of our community confirming pride in our individuality in the face of our daily adversities. I can compare it to the characters on the hit TV show GLEE. In just about every episode, the characters are attacked with slushies to the face. What do these victimized characters do to deserve this treatment? They love to sing, dance, and perform; they're being who they are. Each performance they give is like another gay pride parade. Gay pride parades exist because homophobia exists. Gay pride parades are events of solidarity among the gay community in an effort to combat and end homophobia. The more straight people who support and attend gay events, the less homophobia will have a chance of surviving.
To any fellow family members reading this, I hope you come out sooner than later. Granted, it's your choice when to do it, or to do it at all. The more of us who show themselves to the world, the sooner we can all make this place a better, happier, safer, more loving world.
As long as one person is oppressed, no one is free.
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