Is YOUR love voted on?

Mine is. Right now, the marriage equality movement has returned to the political spotlight. There are those who support equality by saying things like "Love is love", or "Hate is not a family value". Naturally, I believe both statements are true.

My point in this post is something that has seemed to me to become increasingly ridiculous. In various states, marriage equality will be voted on to be legalized or repealed. We're getting closer to 1/5 of the country saying it's legal for same-sex couples to get legally married. Witnessing all this, two things come to mind:

1. I'm grateful to all the equality pioneers in decades past to fought and sacrificed to get our civil rights this far.
2. Why the fuck do straight people have to vote on OUR love lives when gay people NEVER voted on theirs?

Anyone? Anyone?!

Are you aware of how absolutely absurd it sounds when put into this perspective? Why should there even be any vote at all? WHY?! Even parents who don't approve of their child's chosen spouse don't get the chance to vote on it. They don't call up their Senator or Representative and say "I urge you to oppose this 'marriage'!"

You don't hear that, and you won't.

In politics right now, Rick Santorum is probably the most extreme social conservative I've ever seen on TV, as far as politicians go. I've even read that he, if elected (which we can all conclude he probably won't even be nominated), would force all currently legally married gay couples to get divorced. This coming from a Catholic who earned the endorsement of the evangelical right!

All the gay people he's hating on, they're each someone's child. He's a father of, like, 5 or 6 kids. How would he respond to someone "voting" against his kids' right to marry the person they love? He'd probably be all, "You have no right to have a say in my child's life this way!"

What, then, gives him and all those who think like him, the right to do that to us?

I have two friends in North Texas who have been together for years. And they've been married, legally married, in almost ever (if not every), state that offers it. My parents are going on their 40th anniversary August 2012, and neither my parents' nor my friends' marriages are on the rocks...because neither one has anything to do with the other!

But God intended marriage to be with one man and one woman.
There's a separation of church and state in this country. I'm not talking about the religious institution. I'm only talking about the legal right itself. Churches don't have to recognize gay couples' marriages unless they are affirming churches, then they will. 

Children need a mother and a father!
Then what about those kids who lost one of them at a young age? Many, if not all, turn out just fine if their single parent is a devoted, loving parent. When parents have kids, those kids don't come with a set of instructions. Parents raise their children with the desire to love them and protect them no matter what. As the child grows, the parent may dream of the sorts of things they can share together. Stereotypically, the father may dream of his child being his high school star quarterback. Mom might see her daughter winning every dance competition. As typical as such hopes and dreams are, parents have a crossroads to face: let my child be who they are, and love them no matter what, or if their chosen interests fall outside of the norm, steer them into something more typical to prevent bullying from insensitive and prejudiced peers. If it's possible with one parent, it's possible with 2 same-sex parents. Further, no studies have shown that gay parenting is detrimental to kids. 

Part of marriage is for procreating children, and gays can't do that!
So, what about the straight couples who learn they can't conceive? Should they be divorced? Also, gays can adopt and raise an excellent family, especially since the child they're adopting was probably abandoned by a heterosexual or taken away from one by social authorities. 

Marriage has always been a sacred institution between a man and woman. We can't redefine it!
Marriage has evolved into the travesty it is now. It USED to be a business transaction where the woman was considered property. It was a social status, and a means for a man to acquire a male heir to continue his family's name. Now, just turn on the TV, and watch famous faces get married and divorced numerous times. Marriage is supposed to be a lifetime commitment, but the divorce rate has shot up. Now we have shows like Bridezillas, The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, and Whose Wedding Is It Anyway? that showcase grown-ups in televised competitions for love, and/or behaving abhorrently. If these shows were such an issue, you'd have conservatives fighting against these shows. But no one gives a crap about that.

If gays get married, it'll get our kids confused!
Not if you teach your child that everyone is different...which is true. People come in all varieties: 
Short or tall, fat or thin, long or short hair, bald, numerous shades of skin, physical defects, eye colors, right- and left-handed, blind, deaf, heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transgender. The list goes on and on. As long as you teach your child about human diversity, then children will look at gay people as another color in the rainbow.

Being gay is a choice!
Really? When did you choose to be straight? When? We're born this way. The choices we make are to accept or deny it, be open or private about it, or remain celibate or find a life-long partner. I, for one, chose to accept it, be open about it, and find a life-long partner. The only way I can see being gay as a choice would be for someone who's bisexual, and they choose to be with a same-sex partner.

If gay people get married, we'll see an increase in polygamy, adults wanting to marry kids, or adults wanting to marry animals or household appliances!
First off, yes, some equality opponents have stooped to this level of ignorance. Secondly, marriage is a legal contract, and neither animals, nor household appliances, nor children (without parental consent), can enter into legal contracts. It's a consensual thing.


If gays raise families, their children will turn gay, too!
So what do you say about all the straight parents who have gay kids? Every gay person out there is the product of a heterosexual union, not a gay one. It's nature, not nurture. 

As I've watched our country become more accepting of the gay population, I do see hope for the future. As an elementary teacher, I see the younger kids I teach being oblivious to the outside differences between each other, which is beautiful. Looking at history, women received the right to vote in the early 20th century. Blacks went from being considered 3/5 of a human being, to receiving equal opportunity rights in the 1950s, to being allowed to marry outside their race. These are all great progressive accomplishments, but I'm saddened that civil rights, in general, have evolved into a vote.