I love him, but I love my wallet, too

This post is not intended to attack certain social behaviors, rather it's meant to bring awareness to said social behaviors by questioning them.

Valentine's Day has come and gone. Here in America, it's one day out of the year that if you're in a relationship, you're typically expected to do something special. If you're single, you are either apathetic, hate the day completely, or are easily irritated on this day.

My partner dislikes V-Day, primarily because of how commercialized it's become. Upon discussing our initial differences, I consider myself to be the traditional hopeless romantic. I love surprises, I love surprising people, and V-Day is a great way to surprise the people you love.

I went online the other day to see what bouquets are going for now. I wasn't planning to buy one, just looking. And, let me just say, my wallet would have issues. Some bouquets are insanely expensive! The prices I saw were anywhere from $40 to $200+! Those prices, by the way, do NOT include taxes or delivery charges.

When I was younger, V-Day was a big deal. As an adult, for me, it's still a big deal, but not as big as it was when I was a kid. One of the things that has helped me disconnect from the commercial popularity of this day is that my partner's birthday is 2 days later. So rather than getting him a V-Day gift (which I've done before), I now just get him birthday gifts. But gifting things to him made me realize something:

Why must we assign a day that demonstrates one's love for another, as if that's THE day to show your love for that person? If you love someone, or better, if you're IN LOVE with someone, and you're in a loving, committed relationship, you should have Valentine's love (if we can describe it as its own category), every day you're with that person.

For that matter, we could say the same thing about holidays in general, like Christmas. Why do we feel to be compelled to be our most charitable around Christmas when charitable needs are really on-going?

I'll admit, when I learned my partner wasn't a subscriber, in the slightest, to the V-Day hype, I felt a little...alone. It was like I had all these romantic ideas that had built up in anticipation of the holiday, only to feel them melt away abruptly. It sucked. But when we sat down and talked about it, his thinking made sense. He wasn't trying to hurt my feelings, just trying to explain his own. I learned I didn't have to spend money on one particular day just because society and commercialization told me to do so. I learned that any day can be a V-Day when you do something nice, big or small, for the person you love. There've been a few days when I had come home from work and dinner was ready. What a treat! And of course, I returned the favor. One of my favorite things he does is send me short-n-sweet "I love you!" text messages unexpectedly. Those three words in a surprise text make me smile and fall for him all over again! In those moments, I've sometimes wanted to get home quickly, excited to be with him at the end of the day.

*sigh* Since we've been together for a few years now, and V-Day comes around, I enjoy seeing others get happy and excited as they anticipate the joys of the day. I also see others get a little stressed. Having let go of my subscription to V-Day, I no longer feel the stress of "It has to be perfect!" for that day. Because when you're in love, V-Day is every day. You don't need Walgreens or any other company insinuating that you need to spend money to show love. That's ridiculous. You need to spend money to show CORPORATIONS love.

I love Frank, and he knows it because I tell him every day. I show him my love by telling him, and doing little things for him. I'll make him his favorite tea when he asks. I'll give him massages when he asks (my massages kick ass). I do certain household chores he loathes doing because I don't mind doing them. He loves me back by helping me solve my problems. He helps me put problems into perspective when I feel like they're worse than they are.He affirms me. He forgives my mistakes. He teaches me new things all the time. He sends me surprise text messages. And probably one of my favorite things is his term of endearment for me, which no one else has ever called me, and no one else will be allowed to. I would write it here, but I only ever want it to come out of his mouth directing it to me. It's nothing dirty or naughty. In fact, it's sweet enough to share with anyone. I just want to keep it between us.

Bottom line: you don't need a particular day that bombards your TV with commercials about how much you can save when you spend a certain amount. You can save even more when you don't spend any money at all. Money has never bought happiness or love. And if you're with someone who measures your love by what you buy them, then fill out a reality check in their name to deposit into their bank.

Love has no monetary price, and it never will.