When you're a teacher...
...you're also a peacekeeper teaching a large group of kids who could be strangers to each other how to get along on a daily basis for 10 months.
When you're a teacher...
...you're also a counselor learning why your student may suddenly be upset when they are usually upbeat.
When you're a teacher...
...you're also a parent loving and caring and providing for a child who may be completely neglected at home...assuming they live with their parents.
When you're a teacher...
...you're also a multitasker who can and must teach the exact same thing many different ways depending on each child's unique needs.
When you're a teacher...
...you're also a time manager making copies, making phone calls, meeting parents, preparing lessons, attending required professional development sessions...sometimes all in an hour if you're lucky enough to get an hour.
When you're a teacher...
...you're also a small business owner fundraising to take a group of kids on a trip somewhere to enhance their learning.
When you're a teacher...
...you're also a student attending all kinds of trainings in an effort to give your students the best educational experience possible.
When you're a teacher...
...you're also your own financial adviser looking for the best, most practical and most economic ways to spend whatever budget you have on materials needed to teach what you're expected to teach (if you even get a budget).
When you're a teacher...
...you're also a social worker advocating for a student's success, especially when they have apathetic parents.
When you're a teacher...
...you're also a confidante to kids who can't tell their parents something out of fear of what they might do.
When you're a teacher...
...you're also a motivational speaker giving kids a reason to not give up and believe in themselves, especially when their own parents have little or no belief in their ability.
When you're a teacher...
...you're also a presenter ready to show new minds why any new topic is the most fascinating thing they'll ever learn about.
When you're a teacher...
...you're also a computer genius using all forms of state-of-the-art technology to enhance a lesson's effectiveness.
When you're a teacher...
...you're also a lobbyist proving why your position shouldn't be eliminated due to budget cuts.
When you're a teacher...
...you're also a team builder teaching different kids how their individual strengths can be used for a common good.
When you're a teacher...
...you're also a moderator possibly hearing 1 story told 6 different ways, and each way insisting to be the truth when kids struggle with interpersonal conflict resolution.
When you're a teacher...
...you're also a lifeguard creating, fostering, and maintaining an environment where kids feel safe, enabling them to learn.
When you're a teacher...
...you're also an editor looking at a student's best work and show them how to make it even better.
When you're a teacher...
...you're also a skilled negotiator getting non-compliant or defiant students to do what you need them to do, especially when their own parents struggle with them.
When you're a teacher...
...you're also an innovator doing the best work you can using whatever resources you have available to you.
When you're a teacher...
...you're also a mentor role modeling for kids how to make good decisions and follow through with them.
When you're a teacher...
...you're also a psychoanalyst learning what you need to do and how to do it in order to reach a student and pull out their greatest potential.
Because, when you're a teacher...
...you're also a trained professional who gets paid to work with other adults' kids, people coming from an extreme diversity of backgrounds, and get them all to accomplish many goal in their own unique way on a daily basis for the better part of a year.
"Teaching is the essential profession, that which makes all other professions possible." -David Haselkorn
I didn't get this from anywhere. These are my thoughts based on my experiences after just 4 years of teaching elementary music to kids in Pre-K to 5th grade.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
Facing the music
My previous post was a very passionate one. I was seriously thinking of quitting music to sell Mary Kay products for a living. I felt like God had answered a prayer and told me which direction I needed to take my life in.
That was less than a month ago.
This month, from February 9-12, I attended the annual Texas Music Educators Association (TMEA) convention in San Antonio. My Kodály professors were there giving several clinics, and I attended nearly all of them. One fo the clinics ended up being my absolute favorite, called "Keep the Music Going with Easy Musical Transitions". The title says it all. Part of the Kodály approach in elementary music education is to teach music musically. If you're teaching music, then already your activities will be musical. But when you change from one activity to another, you can make your transitions a musical experience as well.
Attending that one particular clinic was like a much-more-needed answered prayer. I'm so glad I went to TMEA. It was incredible and so worth it! The clinicians of this particular clinic demonstrated different ways they execute transitions within a 45-50-minute lesson. They performed in front of 3rd-5th graders who had excellent in-tune singing, were very attentive, it was just awesome. What was really impacting, though, is that after they explained the transitions they were to apply in the clinic, they actually went through an entire Kodály lesson plan. This was my first time witnessing a full lesson being performed. Best part? I could tell what was what in the lesson. See, when you execute a lesson using the Kodály approach, every activity morphs into a different one, and with musical transitions, it gives the lesson a special flow. This flow is critical to this approach to teaching. Unlike the typical classroom teacher doing a lot of talking, giving instructions, etc., the Kodály teacher teaches an entire lesson using music, singing, non-verbal communication, anything to keep the music going. What ensues is a musical dialogue between student and teacher.
All that being said, having seen what I needed to see, my passion for MK has returned to the back burner, and I am now 100% remotivated to complete my Kodály certification, which my career depends on. All that's left is 2 teaching videos, at a minimum of 30 minutes each. I have to do a lower grade (1st or 2nd), and an upper grade (3rd, 4th, or 5th). I've written out and tweaked my lessons, and a friend/colleague has looked them over for feedback. I've recorded 3 classes so far. Said friend/colleague has viewed the videos I've made to this point, and I've received lots of praise and some constructive feedback. These teaching videos are given a grade of "pass" or "fail".
It is so motivating to know that I know what to do, how to do it, and I can submit 2 videos that show a very improved approach to my teaching.
Both figuratively and literally, I'm facing the music. I am developing my skills. One thing I really like about this is that I can show my parents what Kodály training has taught me and my students to do. For a while I've bitched and bitched, and bitched, complained and whined about how much I hated this program because of how much trouble it's given me. In retrospect, I've loaded some highly unnecessary personal drama on some very wonderful people. There are several people who've been amazing supports to my completion to this (which is now imminent):
God, Frank, Mom, Dad, Sarah, Monika, Sandra, Martha Jean, Skye, Nathan, Heather, Lisa, Tiffany, Andrew, Gaby, Lynnel, Katherine, Lauren, Lori, Alyssa, Rebecca, and of course the profs and director of the program themselves. I ask for forgiveness from those who've heard me be a big-ass whiney baby for the past nearly 8 months. I'm doing it. I'm almost finished, and I THANK YOU ALL for helping me get to where I am.
According to Zoltán Kodály himself, "Music belongs to everyone." This approach to teaching helps foster this philosophy, and I'm learning how to execute it.
That was less than a month ago.
This month, from February 9-12, I attended the annual Texas Music Educators Association (TMEA) convention in San Antonio. My Kodály professors were there giving several clinics, and I attended nearly all of them. One fo the clinics ended up being my absolute favorite, called "Keep the Music Going with Easy Musical Transitions". The title says it all. Part of the Kodály approach in elementary music education is to teach music musically. If you're teaching music, then already your activities will be musical. But when you change from one activity to another, you can make your transitions a musical experience as well.
Attending that one particular clinic was like a much-more-needed answered prayer. I'm so glad I went to TMEA. It was incredible and so worth it! The clinicians of this particular clinic demonstrated different ways they execute transitions within a 45-50-minute lesson. They performed in front of 3rd-5th graders who had excellent in-tune singing, were very attentive, it was just awesome. What was really impacting, though, is that after they explained the transitions they were to apply in the clinic, they actually went through an entire Kodály lesson plan. This was my first time witnessing a full lesson being performed. Best part? I could tell what was what in the lesson. See, when you execute a lesson using the Kodály approach, every activity morphs into a different one, and with musical transitions, it gives the lesson a special flow. This flow is critical to this approach to teaching. Unlike the typical classroom teacher doing a lot of talking, giving instructions, etc., the Kodály teacher teaches an entire lesson using music, singing, non-verbal communication, anything to keep the music going. What ensues is a musical dialogue between student and teacher.
All that being said, having seen what I needed to see, my passion for MK has returned to the back burner, and I am now 100% remotivated to complete my Kodály certification, which my career depends on. All that's left is 2 teaching videos, at a minimum of 30 minutes each. I have to do a lower grade (1st or 2nd), and an upper grade (3rd, 4th, or 5th). I've written out and tweaked my lessons, and a friend/colleague has looked them over for feedback. I've recorded 3 classes so far. Said friend/colleague has viewed the videos I've made to this point, and I've received lots of praise and some constructive feedback. These teaching videos are given a grade of "pass" or "fail".
It is so motivating to know that I know what to do, how to do it, and I can submit 2 videos that show a very improved approach to my teaching.
Both figuratively and literally, I'm facing the music. I am developing my skills. One thing I really like about this is that I can show my parents what Kodály training has taught me and my students to do. For a while I've bitched and bitched, and bitched, complained and whined about how much I hated this program because of how much trouble it's given me. In retrospect, I've loaded some highly unnecessary personal drama on some very wonderful people. There are several people who've been amazing supports to my completion to this (which is now imminent):
God, Frank, Mom, Dad, Sarah, Monika, Sandra, Martha Jean, Skye, Nathan, Heather, Lisa, Tiffany, Andrew, Gaby, Lynnel, Katherine, Lauren, Lori, Alyssa, Rebecca, and of course the profs and director of the program themselves. I ask for forgiveness from those who've heard me be a big-ass whiney baby for the past nearly 8 months. I'm doing it. I'm almost finished, and I THANK YOU ALL for helping me get to where I am.
According to Zoltán Kodály himself, "Music belongs to everyone." This approach to teaching helps foster this philosophy, and I'm learning how to execute it.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Music or makeup?
*sigh* I attended a workshop/training this past weekend in San Antonio for Mary Kay Independent Beauty Consultants. I started my business almost a year ago because a friend kept posting to Facebook about her business's success, all the money she made, etc. It made me curious. I thought if I joined, I could be my own boss, learn about something totally new, and make money with it to help pay off debt.
The business started off pretty well over the summer. I had 3 parties, and made enough to more than pay off my starter kit. Then school started again and MK went on the back burner. I sold a few things, but made no money on any sale (because you can't earn money unless you sell at least $200 worth of product). That part definitely sucks. But that's why you need to book parties (which are tons of fun, by the way).
Well, I attended the workshop and left it more certain that I was going to remain a regular consultant with no intention to climb the ladder. Music is my career, not makeup sales.
That's how I felt yesterday, returning from the workshop. Today, it's like my heart and soul (especially after attending Mass) turned 180 degrees! I lay in bed typing this on my iPhone with my alarm set for 5am so I can get ready for school tomorrow. And all I can think about is going into Mary Kay full blast!
I need to calm down. Frank is completely supportive of my MK goals, but encourages me to invest the time in it in the summer when school is out. Sensible, right? But part of me can't shake the feeling that I need to do MK fully and start ASAP. It's a big risk if I'm that determined. I'll have to make at LEAST $2,500 per month off MK from now on if I expect to keep what I have that teaching pays for.
It's funny: Mary Kay's principles were, in order of importance, faith, family, and career. At church today, I asked God to tell me, to guide me, with what He wants me to do with my life. Hours later, all I want to do is invest in my business and work on booking skin care classes.
I know I need to stick to my original career for financial safety reasons, but I also have complete faith in where this business can take me. I now feel the motivation to make it work that I lacked when I sat in that workshop among all those other women (and 3 or 4 other men).
I'll keep praying because I believe that if I do this with God, He'll take care of me, of us. Either that or these endorphins will wear off.
The business started off pretty well over the summer. I had 3 parties, and made enough to more than pay off my starter kit. Then school started again and MK went on the back burner. I sold a few things, but made no money on any sale (because you can't earn money unless you sell at least $200 worth of product). That part definitely sucks. But that's why you need to book parties (which are tons of fun, by the way).
Well, I attended the workshop and left it more certain that I was going to remain a regular consultant with no intention to climb the ladder. Music is my career, not makeup sales.
That's how I felt yesterday, returning from the workshop. Today, it's like my heart and soul (especially after attending Mass) turned 180 degrees! I lay in bed typing this on my iPhone with my alarm set for 5am so I can get ready for school tomorrow. And all I can think about is going into Mary Kay full blast!
I need to calm down. Frank is completely supportive of my MK goals, but encourages me to invest the time in it in the summer when school is out. Sensible, right? But part of me can't shake the feeling that I need to do MK fully and start ASAP. It's a big risk if I'm that determined. I'll have to make at LEAST $2,500 per month off MK from now on if I expect to keep what I have that teaching pays for.
It's funny: Mary Kay's principles were, in order of importance, faith, family, and career. At church today, I asked God to tell me, to guide me, with what He wants me to do with my life. Hours later, all I want to do is invest in my business and work on booking skin care classes.
I know I need to stick to my original career for financial safety reasons, but I also have complete faith in where this business can take me. I now feel the motivation to make it work that I lacked when I sat in that workshop among all those other women (and 3 or 4 other men).
I'll keep praying because I believe that if I do this with God, He'll take care of me, of us. Either that or these endorphins will wear off.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Cue the "Full House" I've-learned-my-lesson music
I decided to blog about a particular incident that happened at school, because it seemed too scripted to be reality, when I'm pretty sure it was 100% real.
Before I go into the actual moment I'm talking about, you need the background information.
So 5th grade's Holiday Program is on 12/16. They're doing 3 songs:
1. Rudolph
2. Silent Night (Noche de Paz)
3. Deck the Hall
I'm using CDs from my textbook adoption that I've had for a few years, and using what's available to me in that collection. So this story really focuses on "Rudolph". As we all (should) know, "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" begins:
So later, the one girl whom I thought would be a shoe-in that ended up not getting picked comes to music class. Upon asking the kids to get on the risers to rehearse, I noticed she was doing everything I asked except sing. So I had the others take a seat while I pulled her aside and spoke to her in private.
"Are you okay? Why are you not singing?"
"I don't want to be in the program after all."
"That's fine, I can't force you, but are you feeling this way because you weren't picked for the solo?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"Okay, yes."
Cue the music at the end of every Full House episode.
The conversation moved to (I hate to admit) a few honest clichés that I ended up laying on her. I talked about how when we have the skills for a good job and we apply for it, 20 people could apply for the same job and only 1 person gets it. I referenced American Idol, how millions of people believe and want to do it so badly, but only 1 gets voted to stay at the very end, but it doesn't stop the rest of them from following their dreams and following their hearts in doing what they love to do. I showed her how it was exactly the same with how the voting results were for the Rudolph auditions, and that though she wasn't picked, she shouldn't let that stop her from singing if she really loved doing it. I told her how much I enjoyed listening to her which is why I wanted her to audition, that I needed her voice, and that the more people that came to sing the better the performance would be. In middle school, she could join choir and audition for more solos in the future.
"Okay, Mr. Hickey. I'll be in it," she said with a smile."
I gave her a hug, got her back on the risers, and she was singing again. I looked at her a few times while I was mouthing the words to the song as the kids rehearsed. I smiled seeing that she was singing, and she smiled back at me.The whole thing seemed too planned, scripted to be true. Nonetheless, I believe it was as real as the music we made together.
It was a great, raw moment of being a teacher, lifting a student out of self-pity and disappointment, and reminding them of the great future they had already.
Before I go into the actual moment I'm talking about, you need the background information.
So 5th grade's Holiday Program is on 12/16. They're doing 3 songs:
1. Rudolph
2. Silent Night (Noche de Paz)
3. Deck the Hall
I'm using CDs from my textbook adoption that I've had for a few years, and using what's available to me in that collection. So this story really focuses on "Rudolph". As we all (should) know, "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" begins:
You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen...and goes on to list the rest of the reindeer before getting to good ol' Rudy. I had the idea of having a few kid soloists sing the introduction before the rest of the 5th graders sing all together. Well, I had 3 particular girls in mind I wanted to cast for the parts. So one day, earlier this week, we got all the 5th graders together, and I invited those interested in auditioning for the solos to come up and audition if they were serious. All 3 I thought would be the best bet came up...and so did 1 boy. I had them sing the part to the karaoke track in front of their peers, and they all did fairly well. So I had the contestants turn around while I took a popular vote from the audience of their peers, and in American Idol fashion the top 3 were chosen...and it ended up being 2 girls, and 1 boy.
So later, the one girl whom I thought would be a shoe-in that ended up not getting picked comes to music class. Upon asking the kids to get on the risers to rehearse, I noticed she was doing everything I asked except sing. So I had the others take a seat while I pulled her aside and spoke to her in private.
"Are you okay? Why are you not singing?"
"I don't want to be in the program after all."
"That's fine, I can't force you, but are you feeling this way because you weren't picked for the solo?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"Okay, yes."
Cue the music at the end of every Full House episode.
The conversation moved to (I hate to admit) a few honest clichés that I ended up laying on her. I talked about how when we have the skills for a good job and we apply for it, 20 people could apply for the same job and only 1 person gets it. I referenced American Idol, how millions of people believe and want to do it so badly, but only 1 gets voted to stay at the very end, but it doesn't stop the rest of them from following their dreams and following their hearts in doing what they love to do. I showed her how it was exactly the same with how the voting results were for the Rudolph auditions, and that though she wasn't picked, she shouldn't let that stop her from singing if she really loved doing it. I told her how much I enjoyed listening to her which is why I wanted her to audition, that I needed her voice, and that the more people that came to sing the better the performance would be. In middle school, she could join choir and audition for more solos in the future.
"Okay, Mr. Hickey. I'll be in it," she said with a smile."
I gave her a hug, got her back on the risers, and she was singing again. I looked at her a few times while I was mouthing the words to the song as the kids rehearsed. I smiled seeing that she was singing, and she smiled back at me.The whole thing seemed too planned, scripted to be true. Nonetheless, I believe it was as real as the music we made together.
It was a great, raw moment of being a teacher, lifting a student out of self-pity and disappointment, and reminding them of the great future they had already.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
FCKH8
If you haven't seen this around, it stands for "FUCK HATE", but it also refers to California's Proposition 8 that sought to ban gay marriage in the Golden State. FCKH8 is campaign and has a website where they're selling shirts and other items in an effort to fund-raise in order to both fund the fight for equal marriage, and also fund youth queer counseling for suicide prevention in light of the recent tragedies among gay youth.
The commercials have received many hits on YouTube, especially for their very blunt message: "Fuck hate". We know that in our society and culture the word "fuck", also known as the "f-bomb", has the connotation of being among the worst or strongest obscenities in the English language. This one word is the reason so many movies are rated "R" in theaters. What's more, to speak honestly, is how this word has various grammatical functions. It can be a verb, an infix, an adjective, a noun, and especially an interjection. Search "fuck" on Wikipedia to learn more about its grammatical functions. I'm serious. It's provided. I checked.
I've received an e-mail in the past that said the word used to be an acronym for "Fornication Under Consent of the King". I don't know how true this is, but it implies that centuries ago, if a couple wanted to engage in sexual relations out of wedlock, they needed royal consent as the king was ordained by God. However, after checking Wikipedia, this etymology has been debunked as an urban legend.
Over the years, it has evolved into an obscenity that many people use in social settings. It's most often used when people express intense over any situation. I'll admit I use it myself, in personal situations, when I'm either proud of something, upset, inconvenienced horribly, and other related situations. It expresses my frustrations well, and as long as I don't use it to offend someone else, I don't see anything wrong with it other than it bothers people who are uncomfortable hearing profanity.
Bbeing an educator, especially in an elementary setting, it bothers me to listen to young children use obscenities. Education has turned me into somewhat of a professional prude (despite how socially liberal I am), and that prude comes out a bit when I watch these FCKH8 commercials. I truly agree with, enjoy (entertainment-wise), and appreciate the messages conveyed, and the way in which they're using the word. But what troubles me a little is seeing that they have featured some very young children using the word in the commercials. I try to calm myself by hoping that these kids' parents gave them permission to use the word for the sake of the message of the campaign.
That being said, the goal of the FCKH8 campaign is to apply the word "fuck" (particularly its meaning) against the word "hate". Those behind the project have a goal to "fuck hate". They're taking one of the strongest, most omnipotent obscenities in our language and using it against a human emotion that has caused so many of the world's problems. Part of what's in their favor, socially, is that despite how vulgar the word is (it's often censored in modern media), it's been used so much to the point where some social settings are...numb to it. It doesn't necessarily change the extremity of its vulgarity, but the reaction to it may no longer be as strong as it once was.
All this being said, judge for yourself. I love both videos, and the video about the bullies has a drag queen who speaks with a...very intimidating voice. And it cracks me up each time!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_profilepage&v=1amIrR-VMAI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjFafCR6FOI&feature=player_profilepage
The commercials have received many hits on YouTube, especially for their very blunt message: "Fuck hate". We know that in our society and culture the word "fuck", also known as the "f-bomb", has the connotation of being among the worst or strongest obscenities in the English language. This one word is the reason so many movies are rated "R" in theaters. What's more, to speak honestly, is how this word has various grammatical functions. It can be a verb, an infix, an adjective, a noun, and especially an interjection. Search "fuck" on Wikipedia to learn more about its grammatical functions. I'm serious. It's provided. I checked.
I've received an e-mail in the past that said the word used to be an acronym for "Fornication Under Consent of the King". I don't know how true this is, but it implies that centuries ago, if a couple wanted to engage in sexual relations out of wedlock, they needed royal consent as the king was ordained by God. However, after checking Wikipedia, this etymology has been debunked as an urban legend.
Over the years, it has evolved into an obscenity that many people use in social settings. It's most often used when people express intense over any situation. I'll admit I use it myself, in personal situations, when I'm either proud of something, upset, inconvenienced horribly, and other related situations. It expresses my frustrations well, and as long as I don't use it to offend someone else, I don't see anything wrong with it other than it bothers people who are uncomfortable hearing profanity.
Bbeing an educator, especially in an elementary setting, it bothers me to listen to young children use obscenities. Education has turned me into somewhat of a professional prude (despite how socially liberal I am), and that prude comes out a bit when I watch these FCKH8 commercials. I truly agree with, enjoy (entertainment-wise), and appreciate the messages conveyed, and the way in which they're using the word. But what troubles me a little is seeing that they have featured some very young children using the word in the commercials. I try to calm myself by hoping that these kids' parents gave them permission to use the word for the sake of the message of the campaign.
That being said, the goal of the FCKH8 campaign is to apply the word "fuck" (particularly its meaning) against the word "hate". Those behind the project have a goal to "fuck hate". They're taking one of the strongest, most omnipotent obscenities in our language and using it against a human emotion that has caused so many of the world's problems. Part of what's in their favor, socially, is that despite how vulgar the word is (it's often censored in modern media), it's been used so much to the point where some social settings are...numb to it. It doesn't necessarily change the extremity of its vulgarity, but the reaction to it may no longer be as strong as it once was.
All this being said, judge for yourself. I love both videos, and the video about the bullies has a drag queen who speaks with a...very intimidating voice. And it cracks me up each time!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_profilepage&v=1amIrR-VMAI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjFafCR6FOI&feature=player_profilepage
Monday, December 6, 2010
The WORST policy
In a nutshell, I'm talking about Don't Ask, Don't Tell (DADT). I don't know how anyone living in America could be unfamiliar with this military policy, but President Bill Clinton signed in to law 17 years ago in 1993. He supported gays serving in the military, and, well, the military didn't want that. So DADT was established as a compromise: don't ask a soldier if they're gay, and don't tell them if you are. Under this policy, if you come out or are outed, then you're kicked out of the military. It doesn't matter what special skills you possess. It doesn't matter how long or how well you've served, how many tours of duty you've been on, what awards you've won. If they learn you're gay, you're out. No questions asked.
One of the sad things about this is that a lot of gay soldiers followed the policy and were kicked out later by someone who found out somehow, by either invading the soldier's privacy, or some other means. The military has lost so many amazing soldiers for the simple reason of whom they love. Since the military's soldiers are mostly men, and since we are a highly patriarchal society, we as a culture are more accepting of 2 men holding guns than 2 men holding hands. That's messed up. The same paradox applies to a quote I once read of a soldier who was discharged under DADT. He said, "I was awarded for killing a man, and punished for loving one."
Allow me to share with you a few great ironies in this country:
-"Be yourself." We teach this to our kids, and in the real world when it comes to making friends, it's completely true. The best friends and colleagues are the ones who love you as you are. But the military has a problem with that?
-Be all you that you can be. (The army's slogan.)
A lot of conservative people were supporting DADT for many years thinking they were doing the gay community a favor by implementing this policy. Their justification was that with the policy in place, gay people would be protected from homophobes or anyone who wanted to cause harm to a gay soldier. I have to say, in theory this makes sense. But why do you need to protect a group of soldiers from their colleagues and brothers in arms? If you're holding a gun on the front lines, does it matter who your fellow soldier loves in his private life? What difference does it make if you kiss girls, but the guy next to you is attracted to men? Well, DADT also served to console homophobes who feared being flirted with by another guy. They didn't want to feel uncomfortable knowing that while they're sharing a community shower, another guy would be looking at his genitalia and immediately become aroused, leading to an extremely awkward moment between fellow soldiers. The policy preys on gay stereotypes that all gay men are sex-hungry devils, looking to have sex with anything that moves. DADT serves to put homophobes' minds at ease.
When DADT came to a potential repeal vote in the Senate recently, international pop singing sensation Lady Gaga made it a personal mission to rouse her millions of fans to become politically active in telling their legislators to support repeal. She addressed a big crowd and reminded everyone that the best thing about our country was the fact that we're all EQUAL. She explained how DADT strips gay soldiers of being seen as equals, and that, in fact, the policy was backwards, penalizing the wrong people:
Watching a simple YouTube video with an internationally renowned pop star giving an address about human and civil equality astounds me. Her ideas made more sense than the policy implemented for over a decade by the American government, a government consisting of highly educated individuals; people who are or work with scientists, doctors, lawyers, business owners and other highly qualified, highly trained, highly educated professionals. How is it that a simple pop singer/songwriter's thinking makes more sense and is more aligned with the American values of equality, freedom, liberty, freedom from oppression, the pursuit of happiness than those of the people we put in power to administer over our country's future?
But you know what really upsets me? Senator John McCain. I think the only nice thing I have to say about him is that I'm grateful for his service to our country. But he's been coming up with excuse after excuse to impede repeal. He wanted to know how the top military officials felt about repeal; they supported it. He wanted to hear from the troops themselves; the in-depth survey conducted over 9 months shows that the vast majority of soldiers support repeal. He wanted to hear from the Pentagon; it also supports repeal. Everyone he's wanted to hear from has supported repeal. And now he's saying he won't support repeal because the economy is so messed up. Are you kidding me?!
McCain, I think it's time for you to retire.
How can we be a country whose Pledge of Allegiance ends with "...with liberty and justice for all" be the country that it is today, denying equality and justice to all of its people?
This country is extremely backwards sometimes. This country needs to look at itself in the mirror and change what truly doesn't work so everyone can have the same treatment regardless of any part of who they are. It's the reason why this country has become so incredibly diverse over the years. We're a melting pot of societies, of cultures. What message does it send to the world if we guarantee equality for all as long as certain conditions are met? That's not what America is. That's neither whom we strive to be nor whom we are.
They say that you can judge a country based on how it treats its minorities. Repeal DADT. It's unfair, it's unjust, it's discriminatory, and America, despite recent actions, is much smarter than this.
One of the sad things about this is that a lot of gay soldiers followed the policy and were kicked out later by someone who found out somehow, by either invading the soldier's privacy, or some other means. The military has lost so many amazing soldiers for the simple reason of whom they love. Since the military's soldiers are mostly men, and since we are a highly patriarchal society, we as a culture are more accepting of 2 men holding guns than 2 men holding hands. That's messed up. The same paradox applies to a quote I once read of a soldier who was discharged under DADT. He said, "I was awarded for killing a man, and punished for loving one."
Allow me to share with you a few great ironies in this country:
-"Be yourself." We teach this to our kids, and in the real world when it comes to making friends, it's completely true. The best friends and colleagues are the ones who love you as you are. But the military has a problem with that?
-Be all you that you can be. (The army's slogan.)
A lot of conservative people were supporting DADT for many years thinking they were doing the gay community a favor by implementing this policy. Their justification was that with the policy in place, gay people would be protected from homophobes or anyone who wanted to cause harm to a gay soldier. I have to say, in theory this makes sense. But why do you need to protect a group of soldiers from their colleagues and brothers in arms? If you're holding a gun on the front lines, does it matter who your fellow soldier loves in his private life? What difference does it make if you kiss girls, but the guy next to you is attracted to men? Well, DADT also served to console homophobes who feared being flirted with by another guy. They didn't want to feel uncomfortable knowing that while they're sharing a community shower, another guy would be looking at his genitalia and immediately become aroused, leading to an extremely awkward moment between fellow soldiers. The policy preys on gay stereotypes that all gay men are sex-hungry devils, looking to have sex with anything that moves. DADT serves to put homophobes' minds at ease.
When DADT came to a potential repeal vote in the Senate recently, international pop singing sensation Lady Gaga made it a personal mission to rouse her millions of fans to become politically active in telling their legislators to support repeal. She addressed a big crowd and reminded everyone that the best thing about our country was the fact that we're all EQUAL. She explained how DADT strips gay soldiers of being seen as equals, and that, in fact, the policy was backwards, penalizing the wrong people:
Doesn't it seem that [DADT] is backwards? Doesn't it seem...that we're penalizing the wrong soldier? Doesn't it seem ... that we should send home the prejudiced; the straight soldier who hates the gay soldier? The straight soldier whose performance is affected because he's homophobic? The straight soldier who harbors hate instead of our nation's values?I couldn't have said it better myself. All these military officials and personnel who want to keep DADT going justify it because they say that soldiers who are open about their sexuality will disrupt or destroy unit cohesion, which is the glue that holds troops together in combat. If you're holding a weapon and fighting an enemy, you want to feel close to the people you work with. So how is it that working with people who are forced to hide a part of themselves...how is that being cohesive? How does that promote cohesion? People in groups become stronger groups, more connected groups when they know the people they work with.
Watching a simple YouTube video with an internationally renowned pop star giving an address about human and civil equality astounds me. Her ideas made more sense than the policy implemented for over a decade by the American government, a government consisting of highly educated individuals; people who are or work with scientists, doctors, lawyers, business owners and other highly qualified, highly trained, highly educated professionals. How is it that a simple pop singer/songwriter's thinking makes more sense and is more aligned with the American values of equality, freedom, liberty, freedom from oppression, the pursuit of happiness than those of the people we put in power to administer over our country's future?
But you know what really upsets me? Senator John McCain. I think the only nice thing I have to say about him is that I'm grateful for his service to our country. But he's been coming up with excuse after excuse to impede repeal. He wanted to know how the top military officials felt about repeal; they supported it. He wanted to hear from the troops themselves; the in-depth survey conducted over 9 months shows that the vast majority of soldiers support repeal. He wanted to hear from the Pentagon; it also supports repeal. Everyone he's wanted to hear from has supported repeal. And now he's saying he won't support repeal because the economy is so messed up. Are you kidding me?!
McCain, I think it's time for you to retire.
How can we be a country whose Pledge of Allegiance ends with "...with liberty and justice for all" be the country that it is today, denying equality and justice to all of its people?
This country is extremely backwards sometimes. This country needs to look at itself in the mirror and change what truly doesn't work so everyone can have the same treatment regardless of any part of who they are. It's the reason why this country has become so incredibly diverse over the years. We're a melting pot of societies, of cultures. What message does it send to the world if we guarantee equality for all as long as certain conditions are met? That's not what America is. That's neither whom we strive to be nor whom we are.
They say that you can judge a country based on how it treats its minorities. Repeal DADT. It's unfair, it's unjust, it's discriminatory, and America, despite recent actions, is much smarter than this.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Will it be any better?
I look at my hands on the keyboard as I type and I'm reaffirmed that I am an adult, an adult in my late 20s who has started his career, owns a home, drives a car, and wears a wedding band.
Next Friday, Black Friday, I'll be at Hal's Landing in Laredo with Frank. I'll be there for my 10 year high school reunion. I've never really had an educational reunion. I've had family reunions, but not like this before. I'm a proud graduate of the St. Augustine High School Class of 2000. Being the only private Catholic high school in Laredo, it was very small. My graduating class was only 81 people including me. And as the days approach, I anticipate them with excitement, confidence, anxiety, and a little bit of nerves. I have more memories of high school than I do of elementary/middle school. Both bad and good.
I'll be completely honest. I have no idea what to expect. It's 10 years later. Will the same people who made me quiver with fear still have that effect on me? Or will I be able to hold myself up with confidence? Will it be like Romy & Michelle's High School Reunion where everyone is accomplished but them? Will it be big kids being the assholes they used to be to the meaker kids? Or will it be a huge positive experience where we're all adults, have figured ourselves out, have self-confidence, and have grown out of all the stupid bullshit that plagued our social lives?
My fears and anxieties pretty much rest on a few things:
1. I'm still a very passive person, non-confrontational.
2. Back then, I knew I was attracted to guys, but I wasn't sure I was gay.
3. My classmates were my friends at school, but had I been invited out with them, it would've been socially awkward for me. I viewed my classmates as student-colleagues, if you will. My "friends" were my cousins, all of whom attended the same school, but were in different grades.
Back then, the boys would want to go into Mexico and drink (illegally), go clubbing, and maybe get laid. None of that ever interested me, which, by default, made me an odd duck around a bunch of other guys and girls. I was much more content staying on the American side, going to watch a movie, and then heading to a cousin's house for desserts or a sleepover.
But when I walk into the reunion, my former classmates will see a man who's learned and loves who he is. After leaving them and living in my own world for a good 10 years, I've not only graduated from college, but I've earned my Master's, started my career, own the home of my dreams, drive the car I want, and am madly in love with an incredible person who's been my lover and best friend for nearly 5 years.
As the reunion approaches, I feel like I'm the typical sitcom or TV series character that plays through all these different scenarios in my head. I have the momentary daydream where I picture myself about to get bullied by the same shitheads who gave me a hard time, and then I push back and yell "Fuck you for making my life hell in school, and FUCK YOU AGAIN for trying to fuck with me again! I'm sick of your shit! Leave me the fuck alone!" Again, that's only a daydream I have. There's little to no chance that that will actually come into realization. And if it did, would I actually hold my ground well, or would I cower like I did back then? I don't know.
I could be completely over-exaggerating everything. It may be a very friendly and casual atmosphere where nothing I'm imagining will come into reality. It may be nothing but fun where those who once made me quiver with intimidation turn out to be amazing people whom I can't wait to friend on Facebook. I just have no idea what's in store.
Among the good memories I have, a lot of girls enjoyed the way I sang. They liked that I played the piano and wrote poetry. There were some guys who were cool with me, and stuck up for me if I felt threatened.
Among the negative memories, I remember that gym class was probably the worst part of it all. There were 6 guys in our class, and it was always the locker room that was so scary for me. There was one time when I remember one of the bigger guys had me up against the wall and was pretending to choke me. I remember that my reaction to his actions was to stay completely calm. I even had my eyes half closed as to appear "bored" by his actions. This same gang of boys would frequently moan and groan as if they were fucking someone right in front of us. It was so annoying. Of course they were all stronger than me, and a few of them would make pseudo-"gay" passes at me. Talk about foreshadowing.
I may be making a mountain out of a molehill as I am so famous for doing. It may be a great event and rekindle or start some great friendships. It may also bring suppressed memories (if I have any) to the forefront and cause me to cringe at the very sight of specific people. There is at least 1 person I can think of who makes me want to walk away the minute I'd see him. And if I do see him, I hope that I don't wuss out and run away.
More than anything, I want to enjoy my reunion. We're all adults who hopefully know how to respect one another, even if we probably needed to do it better when we were that young. But especially bringing Frank with me, the one person I am closest to is stepping into a world that he's never seen, much less knows how it may affect my behavior. I don't know how it'll affect me either.
I intend to enjoy myself and hopefully avoid any conflict. And if someone gives me any crap, I can tell 'em off in 3 different languages.
Next Friday, Black Friday, I'll be at Hal's Landing in Laredo with Frank. I'll be there for my 10 year high school reunion. I've never really had an educational reunion. I've had family reunions, but not like this before. I'm a proud graduate of the St. Augustine High School Class of 2000. Being the only private Catholic high school in Laredo, it was very small. My graduating class was only 81 people including me. And as the days approach, I anticipate them with excitement, confidence, anxiety, and a little bit of nerves. I have more memories of high school than I do of elementary/middle school. Both bad and good.
I'll be completely honest. I have no idea what to expect. It's 10 years later. Will the same people who made me quiver with fear still have that effect on me? Or will I be able to hold myself up with confidence? Will it be like Romy & Michelle's High School Reunion where everyone is accomplished but them? Will it be big kids being the assholes they used to be to the meaker kids? Or will it be a huge positive experience where we're all adults, have figured ourselves out, have self-confidence, and have grown out of all the stupid bullshit that plagued our social lives?
My fears and anxieties pretty much rest on a few things:
1. I'm still a very passive person, non-confrontational.
2. Back then, I knew I was attracted to guys, but I wasn't sure I was gay.
3. My classmates were my friends at school, but had I been invited out with them, it would've been socially awkward for me. I viewed my classmates as student-colleagues, if you will. My "friends" were my cousins, all of whom attended the same school, but were in different grades.
Back then, the boys would want to go into Mexico and drink (illegally), go clubbing, and maybe get laid. None of that ever interested me, which, by default, made me an odd duck around a bunch of other guys and girls. I was much more content staying on the American side, going to watch a movie, and then heading to a cousin's house for desserts or a sleepover.
But when I walk into the reunion, my former classmates will see a man who's learned and loves who he is. After leaving them and living in my own world for a good 10 years, I've not only graduated from college, but I've earned my Master's, started my career, own the home of my dreams, drive the car I want, and am madly in love with an incredible person who's been my lover and best friend for nearly 5 years.
As the reunion approaches, I feel like I'm the typical sitcom or TV series character that plays through all these different scenarios in my head. I have the momentary daydream where I picture myself about to get bullied by the same shitheads who gave me a hard time, and then I push back and yell "Fuck you for making my life hell in school, and FUCK YOU AGAIN for trying to fuck with me again! I'm sick of your shit! Leave me the fuck alone!" Again, that's only a daydream I have. There's little to no chance that that will actually come into realization. And if it did, would I actually hold my ground well, or would I cower like I did back then? I don't know.
I could be completely over-exaggerating everything. It may be a very friendly and casual atmosphere where nothing I'm imagining will come into reality. It may be nothing but fun where those who once made me quiver with intimidation turn out to be amazing people whom I can't wait to friend on Facebook. I just have no idea what's in store.
Among the good memories I have, a lot of girls enjoyed the way I sang. They liked that I played the piano and wrote poetry. There were some guys who were cool with me, and stuck up for me if I felt threatened.
Among the negative memories, I remember that gym class was probably the worst part of it all. There were 6 guys in our class, and it was always the locker room that was so scary for me. There was one time when I remember one of the bigger guys had me up against the wall and was pretending to choke me. I remember that my reaction to his actions was to stay completely calm. I even had my eyes half closed as to appear "bored" by his actions. This same gang of boys would frequently moan and groan as if they were fucking someone right in front of us. It was so annoying. Of course they were all stronger than me, and a few of them would make pseudo-"gay" passes at me. Talk about foreshadowing.
I may be making a mountain out of a molehill as I am so famous for doing. It may be a great event and rekindle or start some great friendships. It may also bring suppressed memories (if I have any) to the forefront and cause me to cringe at the very sight of specific people. There is at least 1 person I can think of who makes me want to walk away the minute I'd see him. And if I do see him, I hope that I don't wuss out and run away.
More than anything, I want to enjoy my reunion. We're all adults who hopefully know how to respect one another, even if we probably needed to do it better when we were that young. But especially bringing Frank with me, the one person I am closest to is stepping into a world that he's never seen, much less knows how it may affect my behavior. I don't know how it'll affect me either.
I intend to enjoy myself and hopefully avoid any conflict. And if someone gives me any crap, I can tell 'em off in 3 different languages.
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