"That's so ______!"

Some have used the phrase "That's so gay" intending for the word "gay" to mean "dumb", "stupid" or anything derogatory when one dislikes or is critical about something or someone. But just like comedienne Wanda Sykes says in this ad, it's insulting!

Have you used this phrase before? Have you called something "gay" when you really meant it was dumb, stupid, or anything like that? If you have said this phrase, why did you? Peer pressure? Homophobia? Is everything stupid "gay"?

If we apply the current mainstream definition of "gay" to the little chef statue mocked in this ad, then I'm curious: What is so homosexual about the statue?

If we apply the original definition of "gay" to the statue, then I can agree that the statue appears happy...ecstatic even.

Here are other ways this phrase can be used:

"That's so blond."
"That's so jock."
"That's so nerdy."

They sound ridiculous, don't they? And the list of substitution possibilities becomes endless.

So really, why use that word? What does it accomplish? It helps desensitize the majority from a minority's real plight.

When you speak this way, do you realize what you say? Do you realize whom you're hurting?

Knock it off.

My spending fast...6 months later

Do you make resolutions each year? Most...well...some people do. The bigger question is, how disciplined are you to actually follow through with it? That's the whole point of a New Year's resolution. You resolve to change, start, or stop a behavior or activity. Whatever it might be, our culture temporarily glorifies resolutions.

Common resolutions are health related.

Speaking for myself, I'm 29, and I can't remember the last resolution I made. If I did make one in years past, I'm sure I didn't keep it. This year, though, is different. I made a resolution, and I've forced myself to keep it. My resolution was to go on a spending fast.

It all started with following my financial institution - Randolph-Brooks Federal Credit Union - on Twitter (@RBFCU). The very kind and informative RBFCU rep who tweets for them posted a tweet about a woman who went on a "spending fast" where she spent the entire year buying only necessities. She denied herself outings to the movies, cable TV, eating out, and other wants. By the end of the year, she had saved herself thousands of dollars, and tremendously reduced her consumer debt.

That inspired me to do the same thing. It is VERY easy for me to justify frivolous purchases. I'm a teacher, and if my teaching pay didn't last me the entire month, I'd end up charging all kinds of things. My credit card debt is higher than it's ever been. Right now the best part of it is that I can still pay my monthly card payments.

So, as inspired as I was about that other lady going on her spending fast, I resolved to do the same. I pay 5 regular bills each month:

-mortgage
-car
-student loan
-cell phone
-credit card

The money left over is for gas and groceries (primarily), and other necessities that may arise, like car maintenance, etc.

But my fasting hasn't stopped there. I've gone a step further and have tried to limit how much I drive. If there's a trip I really don't need to take, I shouldn't go. The more I drive, the more gas I use. The more gas I use, the more frequently I have to fill up. The more frequently I fill up, the less money I have to last me through the month. The less money I have, the more my chances increase of having to use the credit card which increases my debt which defeats the very purpose of this resolution! I've extremely restricted myself in eating out, especially fast food. The only time I'll do it is if I NEED to eat something, and I have no time to stop at a grocery store, or go home to eat. That's happened maybe 2-5 times. I don't really know. I haven't kept count.

So.

It's now July 6th. Being a teacher, I'm on summer vacation. I'm spending a LOT of time at home maintaining the house and yards, taking care of our dogs, watching Ellen Show reruns, watching Whoopi, Joy, Sherri, Elisabeth, and Barbara share their opinions on The View, and refreshing Twitter and Facebook constantly. Oh, and blogging. Yes, I'm reading, too. A little.

Honestly, it's been a day-by-day event. I have no way of calculating how much money I've saved through this spending fast, but I can tell you this much: I've missed 3 concerts I really, REALLY wanted to go to (Michael Bublé, Katy Perry, and Lady Gaga), I've refrained from buying movies, music (especially all the new Glee albums, Katy Perry's and Lady Gaga's new albums, and several other things). It's not fun, like, at all. I've had to tell myself "no" many times this year, and it's not over yet. In fact, I'm thinking of extending the fast into next year, too.

There were 2 credit cards on which I owed BIG balances, and in an attempt to save money on interest, I've transferred BOTH balances to another card with a high enough limit that also had a balance transfer promotion at 0% APR until March 2012.

This fast is literally one financial decision after another.

So, I'm now more than 6 months into this resolution. I don't know how much money I've saved, but I have to keep going. I'm intent upon keeping my resolution.

The most exciting thing is that next summer my car will be paid off. Once it is, I'll use that money to pay off other debts.

One thing's for sure: Christmas is probably gonna suck this year.

*sigh* I've come this far disciplining myself financially this year. Six more months to go.

Shut up and do it!

We all have our inner demons. One of mine is following through with plans I come up with. In my case, I struggle most with having a goal in mind, having done all the prep work to make it happen, and then all that's left is the leg work to achieve the goal. And that is where laziness sets in and takes over.

For instance, as of May 2010-June 2011, I was an Independent Beauty Consultant for Mary Kay cosmetics. I had signed up to be one because a very good friend of mine has been selling MK products and making a killing. She was frequently informing me about how much money she had made, and went on and on about all the successes she was having with her business. She's been with MK for over 3 years, and naturally, has built a decent clientelle.

Attracted to the opportunity in making extra money, I very curiously and open-mindedly signed up to sell what I still believe are among the highest quality cosmetics and skin care products available (for women and men). The most ideal way to make the money is to hold skin care classes. These are "parties" and you get a hostess to host the party (class) in her home. The guests attend, and they get a free facial with high quality products, and pretty much get to give themselves a make over with all the samples available. Hopefully, one of the attendees will want to host a party as well and invite more friends, and the growth of the business blossoms from there.

When it comes to sales, I'm very shy. I don't like convincing people to buy things. I think the problem I have with doing that is that I'm a marketer's dream client; I'm easily sold. I don't know how to say "no" very easily when being sold something, so consequently, I want to make it easy for a customer to tell me "no". It was my hope that I'd tell people I sold MK products, I'd give out cards, and send them catalogs, and the orders would come in just like that.

I was wrong.

It didn't work that way for me. So, I had an idea...buy a bunch of business cards, and walk around my neighborhood placing them in door hinges. This way, when neighbors would get home, they'd see the card, get interested, and a party would be setup for hosting where I could make some money.

What did I do instead? I bought the cards, and kept telling myself, "I'll go on such-and-such-day, distribute cards, and just wait for e-mails for phone calls from prospective customers." Yeah, that never happened. I got lazy, I got shy, and so nothing ever came of it. The cards ended up sitting in their little stack on my desk in my room.

All that being said, I no longer work for Mary Kay. I don't think I'm the type of person suited for direct sales.

I'm facing a similar internal predicament with piano lessons. Frank helped me put together my ad for lessons. It lists my credentials well, including my Bachelor and Master's degrees, my Kodály certification, my years of piano experience, etc. I even went to a local music store and bought 4 lesson books: 2 for kids, and 2 for adults. All I need to do now is make copies of the flier, distribute them, and start scheduling lessons with interested prospective students.

I feel like, aside from the basic leg work I have to do in promoting the lessons, my only concern is that if parents want their kid to perform in a recital, where would the recital be? I have no clue, right now. My initial guess would be in a local school. Frank has even suggested I contact the schools that are close by to see if the music directors know of any students who want lessons, and that way I can start building my studio that way, by networking with the local music teachers. Have I done that?

No.

Why not?

Because I'm...scared?

Shy?

Embarassed?

I just need to put my money where my mouth is to accomplish my goals. It's the biggest hurdle I need to jump. I need to stop talking about plans if I have no intention of putting them into action. I am my own worst enemy.

How to HELP save and create American jobs

Obama can only do so much in this department. He's one man, and we're the millions of people who elected him to office. Regardless of your political preferences, he calls on us all to help make our country better.

To quote John F. Kennedy, "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country."

The solution is actually pretty easy, but there's some sacrifice involved. I was watching a major newscast, and what I took from it was that if everybody spent $3.33 per year on products that were American-made, we'd create 10,000 jobs. Granted, we need MILLIONS of jobs to help our economy recover to where it was years ago, so, if everyone spent MORE than $3.33, and did it regularly in the course of a year, think of how many jobs we could create this way!

Part of the sacrifice is that Americans LOVE cheap deals, and frankly, that's why major corporations like Walmart exist and turn a profit every quarter. How do they keep their prices so low? Yes, they have American citizens working in their stores, but where do the products sold come from? Where are they made? Chances are, they're not made in America. Most of the time, we find products that are made in Asian countries (India, China, Japan, Taiwan, the Philippines, Korea, Thailand, etc.). These massive corporations are able to keep their prices low enough for Americans to buy because the products we buy for so little are made overseas where the corporation pays VERY, VERY LITTLE for the labor to produce the merchandise. Since they save money on overseas labor, they can cut the prices dramatically for consumers. In Walmart's case, consumers might "save money" and "live better", but it's at the expense of more and more jobless Americans.

I went to Target recently to get a few toiletries I needed, among them being toothpaste. Being among the aforementioned deal-seeking Americans, I went for the toothpaste I found to be the least expensive: Colgate. I picked up the box and looked at all its labeling. To my disappointment, I found it was Made in Mexico. I put it back and looked for another toothpaste at the same price I wanted. I found the price matched by an Arm & Hammer toothpaste. I checked the box, and BINGO: Made in USA. My purchase supported a company that creates its products in America. In short, my money went to my country.

This is just one small example in helping our economy recover. There's another way, but it gets more political.

In America, being a capitalist country, corporations are permitted to do whatever they want to make a profit. Corporations are so protective of their profits that they make major political contributions to make sure that laws get passed to prevent the government from regulating corporations. Without business regulations, they can do whatever they want, even if it's at the expense of the American people. And which of our two major political parties supports deregulating businesses? Republicans. The ironic part is that the Republicans are so bent on patriotism, nationalism, and loving our country. Anything that goes against their beliefs can be quickly dismissed as being "un-American".

If you oppose regulating businesses, like most (if not all) Republicans do, then you're telling major corporations they can make their massive profits at the expense of American jobs. I don't know about you, but to me, that is "un-American". For every low priced item we find, celebrating the money we saved, we're giving someone else in a different country the money, and we're telling the corporation to keep doing its thing.

Of course, if you're a regular at Walmart, I'm not saying to stop shopping there, but at the very least, make sure the products you purchase are made in America, and do your best to avoid products that aren't. After all, the most American thing we can do is support businesses run by Americans that make products for Americans that are made by Americans. That's part of the meaning of "united" in "United States of America".

Sick of Rick

In case you can't tell by the title of this blog, I'm talking about Texas' Republican Governor, Rick Perry.

I. can't. stand. him.

And I have several reasons as to why I can't stand him.

1. He's a Republican, and I usually disagree with Republican politics on very fundamental levels. I do have some friends and family members who also are registered Republicans, and a few of them have told me that once I get older, I'll probalby switch parties. Yeah, I don't see that happening. At the very least, Republicans aren't too keen on equal rights for gay people, and I was "born this way", baby. I may as well be a vegetarian NRA member. It's not gonna happen.

2. He called a special session for the Texas legislature, and while the Senate and House have been hard at work taking on and voting on all the bills they didn't get to vote on BEFORE the special session, he's been going around the country promoting his book and flirting with the idea of running for president.

3. He's a hypocrite. While he's been going around the country, a stack of bills, 1,170 to be exact, have been waiting for him on his desk, and he vetoed 23 of them. One of the vetoed bills was the "texting-while-driving" bill, making it illegal for people to text and drive. Despite the fact that there has been study after study proving that texting and driving is WORSE than drunk driving, Perry vetoed it. That just plain upset me and many other common sense voters. What put me over the edge, though, was his reason for vetoing the bill. He said that it "micromanages adult behavior". Really? REALLY?! Of ALL reasons that's the one with which you justify your veto? The hypocrisy in the justification alone is almost tangible! If that's the case, then:

-the sonogram bill shouldn't have passed.
-the gay marriage ban and DOMA shouldn't have passed.
-the sodomy law should never have existed.
-the voter ID bill shouldn't have passed (if it did...I can't remember its status).
-seatbelt and drunk driving laws shouldn't have passed.

The list goes on.

4. While I admit I don't know the status of the voter ID bill, the way it works is that it's supposed to prevent "voter fraud" at the polls. How does it prevent voter fraud? Certain demographics of voters will be required to show special forms of ID to be able to vote. The people who're given these additional obstacles are those who tend to vote Democratic. The people who are exempt from the bill are those who are either licensed gun owners or the elderly. In other words, those who can still vote easily are those who typically vote Republican. In my opinion, this bill is a very subtle form of rigging elections. "Voter fraud". *rolls his eyes*

5. Perry is flirting with the presidency. *throws up in his mouth a little* The whole country has already witnessed one Republican Texas Governor run the country. And we had to deal with it for 8 years. Eight. long. years. By the way, this trillion dollar deficit is sponsored in part by the Bush Administration. "Let's not raise ANY taxes to pay for stuff. Instead, let's borrow the money and give TONS of money to the wealthiest Americans. It's called 'Reaganomics' and it works!" It works? Really? Then explain how during Reagan's and both Bush's presidencies we had deficits, and during Clinton's administration we had a surplus? Where did all that money go, by the way?

6. He doesn't care about teachers. When the State of Texas started panicking about the $27 billion budget deficit, he was quoted in the media as being unaware of the whole education problem with budget cuts, claiming he had nothing to do with them, essentially washing his hands of dealing with the problem.

7. When Obama was elected president, Perry led the charge to get Texas to secede from the Union. How could a governor who wanted his state to secede from Union be interested in running the United States of America?

There was another reason I dislike Perry that I was going to list, but I can't remember what it was.

I hope he doesn't run for presidency. And if he does, I sure hope he doesn't win. I'm tired of this man, especially because of how he's been running his State lately.

Love yourself and others as I have loved you

I had originally intended to write separate posts: one on comparing the plight of the X-Men for social acceptance, and one about Fathers' Day. Since we're so close to Fathers' Day (it's tomorrow), I can combine my post to discuss both topics, and they actually fit together pretty well.

Frank and I went to go see X-Men: First Class the other day at the movie theater. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. This is the 4th X-Men movie that has been released (X-Men, X-Men 2: X-Men United, X-Men: Origins, X-Men: First Class). I think this last one is the best one so far. It's a prequel to all the others, but in it, you learn how Professor X gets paralyzed, you learn how Magneto became so evil, and how he got his helmet, you learn how Beast turned blue, and so many other things. The story was intensely good. So suspenseful with excellent visual effects, I'd be ready to watch it again, and I don't say that about many movies.

Anyway, a common theme in these movies is how these characters struggle for acceptance, both within themselves, as well as from society. We learn through these movies that in the history of science, genetic mutation has enabled certain species to evolve in specific ways. Charles Darwin's theory of natural selection plays a role here: the idea of survival of the fittest. But one thing I love about these stories is that through no fault of their own, each character has been blessed (or cursed) with a specific genetic mutation in their DNA. This mutation gives them a special, "super human" ability. It makes them unique and sets them apart from other people. The characters' powers range from any of the following: telepathy (hearing others' thoughts), telekinesis (moving objects with your mind), flight, super fast healing, ice production, weather control, controlling metal, shape-shifting, etc.

In the first couple of movies, the X-Men are adults. They've accepted themselves and their gifts. Accepting their gifts is enough of a struggle, because it's something in them that they may wish they didn't have, as it has the potential of forcing themselves to self-ostracize from "normal" people and enjoying a "normal" life. Since normal human beings, who may either be family or friends, may not understand the gift brought by their own genetic mutation, the "mutant" ends up suffering from closed minds, closed hearts, and a loss of everything they once held dear to them. Their families shut them out because they can't handle how their child has changed, and they feel powerless to do anything about it. The families also shut out their kids for fear of what others might think about their family. We see this in the Harry Potter stories as well. Harry didn't ask to be a wizard. He was passed down the ability from his parents. After they died, he lived with his uncle and aunt, who treated him as if he was sub-human. But he went to Hogwarts where he met new friends and enemies who were just like him, and learned to control his powers.

In the X-Men movies, Professor X learns of where the new mutants are, finds them, and helps them to love themselves exactly as they are. He shows them how their ability benefits everyone, fostering the idea of community and team work in everything they do together. Their gift isn't something to be ashamed of, but rather something to be celebrated. They're a diverse group of people. They celebrate diversity. They learn to love themselves and love each other even when their own families might turn away in horror. They go as far as to lobby for mutant rights in the legislature, and are inevitably met with plenty of opposition attempting to demonize them.

The parallelism between the X-Men and the gay community is almost tangible. We're who we are through no choice of our own. It's cheesy, but to quote Lady Gaga, we were "born this way". Those who oppressed wizards, mutants, and gays insist it's a choice. Really, the only choices we make are either to deny or accept it, and to hide it or share it with others.

A HUGE part of this journey for self-love and acceptance is the role parents play in our lives. Their thoughts and actions help dictate our destinies in deciding how we see ourselves. I have gay friends who've been shut out from their families. For others, their families are involved in PFLAG (Parents, Friends, and Families of Lesbians and Gays). For those gays who were unfortunate enough to have a family cut them off, they may entertain the thought of suicide, because if their own parents won't love them, who will?

My coming out story is extremely positive. I'm saturated in blessings. And a lot of how I view myself and others is based on a few words my father once told me. I love this man dearly, and he loves me just as I am. He probably knew I was gay (or was turning out gay) when I told him how much I loved Celine Dion when I was 14. I remember he and I had developed a strong relationship during my teen years and early 20s. Before I came out officially 10 years ago, I remember labeling myself in high school as "bicurious". I was attracted to both boys and girls during high school, but I didn't think of myself as bisexual because my feelings seemed to constantly be evolving. I remember when I told him I was confused, he said, and I'm quoting verbatim, "Enjoy your confusion." Wow. I was floored. Most parents would probably not be as calm and collected as he was. Some parents don't want to talk about it. Others go as far as to insist it's a phase, and even recommend therapy to "cure" their child. He didn't tell me any of that. He essentially told me to let it out and have fun with it. He encouraged me to explore my feelings and to learn from them.

Four years later, in 2000, after graduating from high school, my graduation gift was to join him on a pilgrimage to Rome to see the Pope. I was so excited to do this because I had already been to Italy twice with my family, once in 1994, and again in 1995. So this chance to go again and see the POPE was a HUGE gift. I told him that one of the reasons I wanted to go was because I wanted God to tell me who I was (I was still bicurious...and hated it by now). Without missing a beat, he responded, and I quote verbatim again, "Don't ask God to tell you who you are; ask God to help you accept whoever he wants you to be." Again, I was floored. Why couldn't more coming-of-age kids have this man as their father? How was I so blessed as to have this man?

Upon returning from the pilgrimage to Rome, I had started college, still very confused, but coming closer to the realization that I was probably gay. It wasn't until the spring semester of my freshman year in college that I finally knew for sure I was. I knew, and I had accepted it. I told Dad, and he responded "Love and respect yourself and others, and be the best person you can be of whoever God made you to be." (This answer I don't remember verbatim, unfortunately.) I'm extremely lucky. I know this. I've known this for years. My father is a learned, compassionate, humane person. He's touched the lives of many.

Dad has been my teacher, friend, confidant, supporter, fan, and so many other things. He's my dad. A lot of who I am today is because of how he's loved me. He helped me get over my fear of thunder. He gave me an appreciation for toilet humor. He made me fall in love with Chopin's piano pieces. He's challenged me to make my lyrics in my songs better every time. He's calmed my fears and applauded my achievements. He scolded me when I made BIG mistakes, and praised me when I had done the right thing. He reminds me of the importance of enjoying life rather than worrying about its challenges.

I'm beyond confident that if any of the X-Men mutants had my parents in their lives, they wouldn't be afraid of who they are. My parents loving me and accepting me as I am has been fundamental in helping me to live the life I have today: I own a nice, comfortable home with a partner who also loves me as I am. I've found a career that fits me perfectly, both professionally and personally. I can speak 3 languages, and as a result have a very diverse circle of friends. The blessings of my life are founded on my parents' love and acceptance of me. It doesn't matter that I'll never have a wife, and may never give them grandchildren. I'm successful, I'm safe, I'm healthy, and happy...and I owe it all to them.

To anyone whose parents don't match the description of mine, find someone who'll love you unconditionally, especially if there are things about you that others fear or don't understand. Take a lesson from these fictional mutants, the X-Men.

Don't ask God to tell you who you are; ask God to help you accept whoever he wants you to be.
-My dad

The importance of coming out

We live in America where enshrined in our 2 founding documents (Declaration of Independence and Constitution) are the affirmations that all men are created equal and endowed with inalienable rights, among them being life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. The 14th amendment to the US Constitution guarantees equal protection under the law. Our Pledge of Allegiance mentions that we live in a country, united, under God, with liberty and justice for all.

All that being said, why do so many people immigrate to the US? Because here, the people, NOT the government, rule. We're the Land of the Free, the Home of the Brave, as stated in our National Anthem, and yet not everyone is treated as equals. We have an upper, middle, and lower class that is distinguished primarily by income. Even individual cities differ in appearance depending on where you live in that city.

Since we live in a democratic country, we vote on what laws we want passed and enforced. Many of the past votes have been votes for civil rights. Women and African-Americans were only allowed to vote relatively recently. At one point, interracial marriages were banned. So many minorities have fought for their rights in this country. If we truly live up to the statements in our Anthem, our Constitution, and the Declaration, America would indeed be the best country in the world. But if you want to make it the best country, you need to vote for the laws to make that happen. We live in the 21st century now, and we still manage to maintain our petty differences between each other. It's these stupid differences and our prejudices against them that hold our country back from fully embracing itself as the country our founding documents declare it to be. So how do we move our country forward?

Most of the time, in the case of the gay community, we're faced with such tremendous adversity because of the irrational fears prejudiced straight people have about our community. Those citizens who've never met any gay person will likely adopt the notion that we're out to "recruit" others to be gay, that we're taking over the world, that we're corrupting the innocent, and other such nonsense. Because they have these pre-disposed fears (which the media can sometimes foster, as well as evangelical preachers who may not personally know any gay people), those ignorant to the real plight of gay people want to "protect" themselves by supporting laws that enforce discrimination against us. They also justify their hatred and prejudice with Biblical texts, anything to make them feel like they're in the right, and we're in the wrong. And it's easy to do all that, especially when the gays are far away from you. You don't know any personally, so you can judge and hate all you want guilt-free...

...unless...

...you meet one of us. All these fears, prejudices, and anti-gay sentiments that can ultimately manifest themselves in gross acts of hate could eventually dissipate once a homophobic person meets a homosexual person. Then 3 things can happen:

1. Gay people are no longer far away from you on a trashy daytime TV talk show, they're someone you know personally.
2. You get to know them and realize they're not so bad, in fact, they're same person they always have been.
3. This revelation can change your thinking because you learn they're not scary, but they're normal, everyday people who want and need all the same things you do.

Once you've met one, ask yourself, "Do I really want this person to be bashed, called names, and treated unfairly?" The answer is probably "No". And yet, we're bashed, called names, and treated unfairly every. single. day.

Coming out (revealing to yourself and/or others that you're gay) is a process that varies with each person who needs to do so. For some, it's incredibly easy. For others, it can be a lifelong challenge. For me, once I knew for sure, I came out and liberated myself from what could've been a lifetime of lies. I even remember the exact date I came out: March 12, 2001. This one action on any gay person's part can change their lives and those of others for the better. It's an extremely powerful moment. It liberates you, it unburdens you, and it follows through with what we teach our children everywhere: Be yourself.

If every gay person who was still closeted came out, more bigoted, ignorant, intolerant, and closed-minded people would be less afraid of what really is not the threat they believe it to be. They'd realize that the sky won't fall down, the world won't end, no marriages will be jeopardized (unless that marriage consists of a closeted gay person). And speaking of that, the danger of staying in the closet is that those who enter into heterosexual marriages in hopes of changing their orientation will ultimately do more harm than good to all parties involved in the long run. But they enter into these marriage masquerades because they fear what their family or friends may do if they come out. If the closeted homosexual was to come out BEFORE getting married, then the marriage wouldn't have to end in divorce, simultaneously adding to the current divorce rate. Especially in the marriage that has children between the couple, what kind of message does the parent send to the child when they reveal the truth about themselves after spending years living a lie? The child watches their parent suffer from a marriage that doesn't bring out the best in everyone, but instead weighs down heavily on the personal misery the closeted person carries.

It's simple hatred, ignorance, intolerance, bigotry, prejudice, and active anti-gay discrimination that scares gay people away from coming out and truly being and loving themselves as God made them. Instead, you get a mass-communicated message from people in power attempting to demonize us into subhuman beings...people who have no feelings, no emotions, no heart, no morals, no talents, no thoughts, no voice, NOTHING that affirms our God-given humanity! When we're depicted this way, it's no wonder that ignorant homophobes have no problem bashing or killing gay people; they've become desensitized from acknowledging our common humanity!

I remember once being in graduate school and seeing an event invitation about blue caps. The idea was that if you were or knew someone who was gay, wear a blue cap all day. The purpose of this action was to provide visual proof of how close we all are to gay people. And if we know that many, why are we denying them their rights and privileges? Why are we mistreating them?

I've been asked a few times about why gay people have gay pride parades. "What's the point?" people ask me. "Straight people don't have straight pride parades, so why do you have gay pride parades?" Good question with a simple answer. Gay people are underdogs. We face injustice, prejudice, discrimination, hate-based violence, ignorance, and so many other evils, and none of it by choice. We're beaten down, bashed, even killed for being who we are. These parades are statements on behalf of our community confirming pride in our individuality in the face of our daily adversities. I can compare it to the characters on the hit TV show GLEE. In just about every episode, the characters are attacked with slushies to the face. What do these victimized characters do to deserve this treatment? They love to sing, dance, and perform; they're being who they are. Each performance they give is like another gay pride parade. Gay pride parades exist because homophobia exists. Gay pride parades are events of solidarity among the gay community in an effort to combat and end homophobia. The more straight people who support and attend gay events, the less homophobia will have a chance of surviving.

To any fellow family members reading this, I hope you come out sooner than later. Granted, it's your choice when to do it, or to do it at all. The more of us who show themselves to the world, the sooner we can all make this place a better, happier, safer, more loving world.

As long as one person is oppressed, no one is free.