I love dancing, especially intimate dances where the partners hold each other, turn each other, and especially that dip. That brings out the hopeless romantic in me!
One of the places where my heart starts to race is at a wedding reception. Well, for starters, attending a wedding with my partner is bittersweet enough. I mean, we're watching a straight couple become a recognized couple by community, church, and local, state, and federal law. Their union is recognized. Those moments make me happy for the couple, but jealous at the same time, because we want the same thing.
And yes, it's legal in a number of states, but Texas won't recognize out-of-state same-sex marriages, which is technically illegal according to the equal protections clause of the 14th amendment of the US Constitution.
But I digress.
Besides getting legally married to my partner, one of the other dreams I have is to dance with him as a couple, in a public place, and enjoy that moment. Typically, that public place is a wedding reception, where I'm around many familiar faces. Dancing with someone at such social occasions makes a statement that you came together, and as one, you're sharing the newlyweds' joy by moving intimately to music. As married couples enjoy their love again on the dance floor, it makes a statement that says, "You're one of us now, married for life." Besides the just plain fun that comes with dancing with a partner, there's a lot of symbolism in these activities.
There are 2 reasons why I don't dance with my partner at receptions:
1. He's not fond of dancing
2. I have a horrible feeling that if we danced on the dance floor, it'd be viewed as a scandal, an attention-seeking stunt, when in reality, I just want to dance with my partner the same way everyone else is dancing with their spouse.
It's such simple hypothetical scenarios like this that make me tread that line of Do I care what they think or not?
I want to not care. I want to not care soooo badly. And yet, the fact that I'm dedicating a blog post to this proves that I do care, and I can't seem to stop caring.
I shared my feelings with other friends once, and they recommended that in the future, I simply ask the bride and/or groom if it was a problem for me to dance. As much as I appreciated their input, it got me to thinking, Who the hell else would ask such an inane question?
If my partner and I danced at a reception, I can already imagine the questioning that might follow:
Attendee: Why were you dancing with him?
Me: Because I wanted to dance with my partner of almost 7 years.
Attendee: Do you realize how many people you made uncomfortable, watching you dance?
Me: We didn't hurt anyone. We were enjoying ourselves. If they were offended, that's their problem, not ours. They need to get over it. Do you know how unfair it is to me to watch them dance, and not feel like I can't do the same thing with the person I love?
Attendee: You took attention away from the newlyweds. That's not cool!
Me: What's not cool is letting a couple of guys dancing together distract attendees from the main celebration.
Despite my concerns, there is also the complete possibility that if we were to dance, no one would say anything to our face, or even behind our backs. It wouldn't be of great enough importance to even bring it up.
Yeah, they danced. So? They've been together forever.
Later, I could imagine someone coming up to us and complimenting our "courage" in being ourselves.
My partner's and my 7th anniversary is coming up in just 3 months. We're still not allowed to get married, and we've faced many challenges as a couple, and have survived each one, growing in deeper love and commitment as we go through our lives together.
Just once...
Just once I want to be in his arms, and he in mine, as we glide along the dance floor together as the loving, committed couple we are.
Because when you're fearlessly being yourself, you become free.
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